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25 incredibly cheesy Tech Recruiter chat up lines

It’s that time of the year when the pressure is on to have a partner of sorts for Valentine's day.   We’re not all lucky in love however and Valentines being the huge commercial festival that it is nowadays is often the most unromantic day of the year - whether you’re on your own or jammed into a restaurant with an awful set menu

You’d think that recruiters would be lucky in love. They should be – recruiting is like dating in many ways

Think about it

They spend much of their day interviewing potential matches to see if they are suitable

They’re approachable, love to talk, will get on with your friends and can bond with even the shyest person ensuring that the conversation always flows

They like to see the best in everyone, are always ready with a confidence-boosting compliment and will tell you what you want to hear

They know how to party and have fun and are keen to keep up with the latest fashions (although recruiter fashion can be a niche all of its own!)

They’re listeners – it’s what they do – they’ll ask you seeking questions – it’ll undoubtedly be all about you and not them

So if a recruiter sounds like a perfect date how come they’re not all lucky in love?

We’ve compiled a top 20 list of the Worse Tech Recruiter chat up lines, which may go some way to explaining it!

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You could spam me all night, and I still wouldn’t unsubscribe

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Is your name Google? Because you have everything that I’ve been searching for

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There’s something wrong with my mobile – it doesn’t have your number in it

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Do you want to come back to my place?.. I won’t take NODE (.js) for an answer

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If they made you in Java, you’d be the object of my desire

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I think you could be an integral part of my project life cycle

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The onboarding process with me is so in-depth you’ll never want to leave this job

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Hey my names Microsoft, can I crash at your place tonight?

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I'd ask if you come here often, but I already know from looking at Social Media

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Are you poorly optimised C code? Because you’re going to stay in my memory

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Can I call you CSS because I like your style?

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I shift deleted the others from my mind and have given you the ‘admin rights’

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Automated UI tests? – you look good enough to me

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My heart is a stack and you make it overflow

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Did you lose a timestamp? Because I’m pretty sure it is DateTime.Now[]

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You are the MY in MYSQL

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What do you say we bounce like a bad email?

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You must have been made by Intel to be that hot

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Do you have a privacy policy? Cause I’d love to see your fine print

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I don’t believe in automation – I’m all hands on

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I would be happy to be your human resource

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Let’s do this – but in real time

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If you were a phaser on Star Trek – you’d be set to stun

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You must be a high test score – because I want to go home and show you to my Mother

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I fell for you faster than my iPhone ran out of battery power

This list is just a bit of fun and we wouldn’t highly recommend that you deploy any of these in a serious manner.  Although, occasionally you might strike lucky if your intended friend has a forgiving nature

If you’re looking for a recruitment match yourself – a new job or a team member – why not test out our recruiters? – they may not have the best chat up lines but they are certainly good at finding the right person for the job

See our latest jobs here

And if you want to get to know our recruiters better – browse our Explore staff Team Cards here and find who you’re compatible with!  (Tinder emphatically state that they don’t perceive us as a direct threat yet!)

 

Added 11-Feb-2019

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